the boundaries of relationship

Van Manila-Cebu-Bohol-March2009

It's Saturday night, and from a fresh (15°C) Belgium, I send my best wishes and greetings to you :-)

So many things were on my mind today, but I don't want to get you bored with detailing all of them !!!! Just this little one.

Today we went shopping for furniture for the renovated house. It was fun, we went to Ikea, and to a high-end designer shop. Ikea was cheap and (almost all) boring, the designer shop was expensive and interesting. As HL always says: one price one quality hehe.

Anyway, that's not what I want to write on this blog about :-).

I feel that moving to the renovated house, in a month or two, will have an effect on our relationship. Not yours and mine, but HL's and mine.

We will be placed in a new environment, we will have to decide on new subjects like decoration and what to order for the kitchen, and so on and so forth.

This brings me to the question: how far can a relationship stretch? We are now together since 1997, that's more then 12 years. Our relationship today is different then it was in the beginning, but I think we still enjoy it, both of us.

From the beginning, it was a monogamous relationship. For HL, because he wanted only one lover in his life. For me, the main reason for monogamy was safety. 1997 was the time of AIDS spreading and it seemed wise then to limit oneself to only one lover.

Now we are 2009. Times have changed. Our relationship has changed. We still feel very nice and loving and caring with each other, and I hope we'll continue for the rest of our lives like this. But the question remains: what are the boundaries of our relationship? Should we limit it to only the two of us, or should we allow others to enter it?

The question is particularely genuine, since it is clear for everybody who knows me, that I am attracted to youth. Don't worry, I do stick with legal age, I don't go for underaged persons :-) However, youngsters give that sparkle to my life, that I so much need. They lift me up and make me alive. Nothing much I can do about it, that's who I am.

That being said, it's not necessarily a sexual desire. I enjoy the energy of youngsters, I admire their beauty, I am ravished with their scent and smile and spirit and spontane reactions. That doesn't mean I want to dive into bed with them :-)

But what if I encounter someone that awakens these very natural desires in me? What should I do? Faithful as I am, I will never abandon my bf. Human as I am, should I refrain myself and deny the natural desires?

The question is not imminent yet. But I feel it coming. If the question would arise one day, I wonder how my bf will deal with it. And most of all, how I will handle the situation.

When taking all that into consideration, please don't forget that I have given myself a ten-year-limit (see former blogs). I still have 10 years to live. How will I live those years?

I really look forward to your comments and ideas and advises. Do not refrain yourself from being blunt. Just spit it out. What would you do if you were me? paulbavo@yahoo.com !!!!

sensitive hugs,

PB
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