Monday, May 13, 2019

the darkside of Singapore, from a victim's perspective


What is the darkside of Singapore?

The following is a perspective of a young girl, who finds herself victim of the country. Do read, it's interesting. I wish I could publish a true story in the opposite way, but not the hurray hurray publicity of the government.

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I am only 17, turning 18 this year, so I might not have as much experience as others here, but I’ve got lots to share anyway, from the perspective of a Singaporean youth.

I’m currently studying in what most Singaporeans may consider a “top school”, doing the IB program. I’m also from the upper middle class (with overprotective parents), and thus led a very sheltered life because I rarely got to mix around with kids from different backgrounds. However, I recently got admitted into IMH’s psychiatric ward (the child ward) for suicide attempts and a history of depressive episodes, due to immense stress from studies among other things and it was an eye-opening experience, to say the least. So let me share my perspective as a privileged Singaporean youth suffering from mental illness.

1. The Education System
Singapore’s education system is often seen as a stellar model that people of other countries are always trying to learn from. Our students seem to always do so well, compared to the rest of the world. Apparently, we are the country with the biggest number of top scorers in the IB program (not sure about A levels though). But there are alot of problems and ugliness behind the scenes in Singaporean schools.

I don’t have exact numbers or statistics, but I can say for a fact that many Singaporean kids are suffering as a result of the toxic competitiveness rampant among parents, schools and the entire education system as well as the pressure to do well for exams. It isn’t uncommon to find Singaporean students struggling with clinical depression, anxiety, self harm and suicidal thoughts as a result of stress and studies, especially in the more elite schools. There are even cases of students killing themselves over grades (links below). My own brother (who studied in one of the top JCs) killed himself two years ago, partly due to the pressure from my parents to do well. During my time in the ward, I met at least 4 kids from top secondary schools and JCs who either attempted suicide or seriously self harmed as a result of school stress. This probably isn’t surprising for many Singaporeans, but most of these cases rarely reach the media, or even anybody from outside the schools, because the school management/government bodies are very tight lipped about things like this. Which leads me to my next point.

2. Treatment of people with mental illness
I can’t really speak for older people (ie. people of working age and the elderly), but for youths with mental illnesses, help can be hard to find and Singaporeans generally aren’t very accepting of people with mental illnesses. From my personal experience, my parents wouldn’t take me seriously when I told them I might have depression (they just told me I was lazy) and it was very hard, as a youth with untreated depression and no parental support, to find the help I needed. I tried many things: contacting government organisations, getting myself therapists sessions with student subsidy (still too expensive to be sustainable), getting antidepressants from the black market, even attempting to administer CBT on myself. Only when I got warded did my parents take me seriously.

Also, mental illness isn’t something Singaporeans are really comfortable discussing. As mentioned above, many cases I know of kids struggling with serious mental illnesses and family issues are kept under wraps because of the stigma. This seriously prevents people from realising how big of a problem this is in Singaporean schools.

Most importantly, mental health seems to be a very underfunded and underdeveloped area in Singapore’s healthcare system. This despite the fact that the rest of Singapore’s healthcare system is pretty much stellar. I heard about this from others, but never really understood the seriousness of the problem until my stay in IMH. The psychiatrists there seem very overworked, the ward was always filled to near full capacity (there was only one child ward, and people were being discharged way before they were ready to make space for others) and the practices within the ward (ie. physical restraints for even the slightest aggression) were seriously outdated. This really surprised me because I have had nothing but good experiences from hospitals for my physical illnesses from government/non-private hospitals. (was warded in CGH once for dengue, was going to NUH for years on outpatient because of thyroid issues)

3. The social/class divide
This is a serious problem that starts early in life for most Singaporeans. As a kid from an upper-middle class family in Singapore, I rarely had the chance to mix around with kids from other backgrounds because of the way the education system is structured.

Richer kids go to better kindergartens when they are toddlers, elite primary schools, then elite secondary schools. Outside of school, the richer kids would usually have tuition or enrichment classes to occupy their time, which essentially gears them to score better to get into the elite schools. The less privileged families cannot afford this kind of special treatment, especially the extra out-of-school lessons and therefore, their kids usually don’t do as well academically, which causes them to go to more average schools. As these kids enter the workforce, they are discriminated against based on their qualifications, making it very hard for these less privileged kids to climb the social ladder. These less privileged kids often get involved with gangs, drugs and crime in their youth too.

Therefore, everybody loses. The privileged kids often live a very sheltered lifestyle, which narrows their worldview and reduces their empathy towards the less privileged and the less privileged kids miss out on opportunities to better their situation. This is a very complex problem to solve.

It is also worth mentioning that a great number of kids I saw in the child psych ward came from the lower classes and many were struggling with drugs, self harm and suicidal thoughts as a result of their circumstances. I learnt a lot from them, and their multitude of experiences. I never had the chance to meet these kind of kids in my childhood due to my intensely sheltered upbringing.

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There are many other problems I can think of, but my answer would go on forever. These are the most significant at the moment, I feel.

Do comment or message me if you want me to elaborate on anything.

110.2k Views ·  · 
This is just my opinion so feel free to disagree, but:

Class divide

A study of this has actually shown that Singapore’s class divide is 7th in the world, from the bottom. Even as kids the idea of having more money is better/ boosts your social status in class was very evident for me. When we entered primary school (7–12 y/o) many of those who stayed in HDBs (basic apartment flats that are probably subsidised by the government) looked at those who stayed in landed property with envy. Singapore is very small, so land is always expensive. Cliques started to form. Now that I’m in secondary school (kids 13–16 y/o) people tend to stick with the people of the same class. Can’t imagine how bad it will be when I’m actually a working adult.

Education

This leads me on to this point. Singapore’s education system splits up the good and not-so-good students from as young as 6, since ‘better’ schools are more likely to have richer kids in there. Within that school, kids are streamlined from as young as 8 years old. Basically they take your results and dump you in a ‘good’ class, ‘second’ class, or ‘stupid’ class. It’s very hard to suddenly promote to move up the ‘ranks’ later. The ‘good class’ students are then split even more into ‘very smart’ and ‘smart’. This promotes the idea of class divide.

Everyone is very competitive in Singapore. Parents, Teachers and schools, even though most claim otherwise, put a heavy emphasis on results. I don’t blame them. Singapore is small, no natural resources, we rely on human power to build our country. But this causes the students to be extremely stressed out. I am considered to be in one of the top schools in Singapore. In primary school I remember getting 89/100 for an English test. Pretty good, right? I cried my eyes out. That was the first time I scored anything below a 97. You better bet the next year I was studying my ass off to be the top in class, which I did manage. That was when I was 8 to 9 years old. Now, in secondary school, many of us are risking the chance of failing. In an elite school. Failure is unheard of for us until now. ‘B’s are not well received either. If all your seniors are doing just fine, how come you can’t do the same? Some of us try to laugh it off. Others get depression, anxiety, all kinds of little things. Many of my friends have been diagnosed. People end up crying in class during exams period. I myself have witnessed students at the edge of the building, threatening to jump. They’re the same age as me. Even though I am not diagnosed with anything as of yet, it’s a tough enviorenment to be in.

Dealing with depression/ anxiety

I’m not talking about the way psychologists talk to students, mainly because I haven’t been to one and have no way of judging. I’m talking about the adults who seem very unbothered about this. ‘If I went through the system happily, why can’t you?’ ‘Depression is depression, you suck it up and move on.’ ‘Depression is just an excuse for things to go lighter on you.’ ‘I never heard of depression when I was younger. Stop trying to be the victim.’ ‘Mental illness is fake. It’s all in the mind. You’re just not doing enough.’ This is what I hear adults telling me. This is what my family says. Even when parents finally agree to take the child for counselling or some medical professional, they fail to emphatise. Having a mental health issue in Singapore, you’re most likely going to be stigmatised. Students are scared to talk about it. People are scared that they’ll be judged for it. It’s almost alienating.

Xenophobia

Alright so Singapore has a lot of immigrants. The last time I checked the stats it was around 1/3, I think. That’s a lot. You see, I get what people are saying. They’re diluting our culture, snatching our jobs, creating traffic jams, causing prices to increase, creating more competition for everything, blah blah blah. Fair enough. The problem comes when people channel all the blame to migrants. ‘Oh there’s an accident on the road, I bet it’s a person from India because they suck at driving. I bet they didn’t even get their driver’s licence properly.’ Or, ‘stupid person who cut queue. It’s always the PRCs. Stupid PRCs. All of them are bad.’ I don’t deny that at least once, I have agreed to those things said above. Do I like the huge number of immigrants in Singapore? No. Do I enjoy knowing that these more experienced, smart foreign talents are the people I will be competing with in the workforce in less than a decade? Absolutely not. But do I think they are all bad? No. I have friends who are immigrants. Overseas scholars. Terribly nice people. The problem only comes when locals decide to lump all the immigrants together and hate on them.

Racism

Wait, but Singapore doesn’t have many riots! But Singapore is a multi racial country! But we’re living together in harmony!

Yes, yes we are. That doesn’t mean there’s bad feelings towards the other races. Singapore is mostly populated with Chinese. I’m a Chinese. Since young we gave already gathered many stereotypes from our elders towards other races. Sometimes, when we are angry, we make spite remarks about their race. Sometimes it’s just a passing comment, like, ‘gosh, so many Indians, so smelly’. Sometimes it’s a bad day and we just need to bitch, like ‘oh, look at those Malays always having weddings at the HDB block, how cheap’. These things add together. It makes us wary of the other races. And I admit to be prejudiced against the other races. But sometimes it can be a little much.

B-but we celebrate Racial Harmony day! Yes, but the school forces us to. Do you see the adults celebrating? But we give public holidays to everyone for them to celebrate holidays from other races! Oh, come on, it’s a public holiday. Who doesn’t love that? Do you think I’ll be outside wishing everyone ‘happy Hari Raya’, or would I be at home taking a good sleep?

Homophobia

A significant number of singaporeans are homophobic. There’s law against gay people, like how gay sex is illegal in Singapore. Gay marriage is, of course, out of the question. It’s very hard to come out in Singapore. Many people, escpeially elders, are disgusted by the idea. Many of use when younger, use ‘gay’ as an insult. I was brought up in such a way where I didn’t even know being gay was an actual thing, only knowing about it at around 10. At first I felt very disgusted. 2 guys/girls can be together? WHAT?!?! when I grew older I tend to understand better, maybe it’s because I read up more. Teens are half-half about this issue. I know my whole family is against it. People give funny looks when we talk about LGBT rights openly. My relatives shut down conversation with me when I try to bring up LGBT issues to change their rigid mindsets a little. And I believe I’m not the only one facing such issues in Singapore.

Expensive/ housing / the expectation to have kids

Everything is expensive. Cars cost over $100,000, houses cost a lot too. A 3 flat HDB costs around 200,000, a condominium easily half a million, landed property easily in the millions, a good class one maybe even up to 30 mil. Road tax, income tax, water and electricity bills, all on the rise. It’s not expensive to the point where we are poor, but you can imagine. A fresh graduate isn’t goijg to make that much money. How, exactly, do you want us to get married? Not only that, but kids cost a lot too. Having more than 2 is seemingly out of the question.

When we get married, we need to apply for flats. Most people would go for a HDB as it’s subsidied a little. It takes 2 years to build a house + all the documents. You have to be married/ very close to getting married before you even register. So that’s 2 years of renting/ staying with your parents. We’re not young when we get married, already maybe 28. Realistically, kids are probably not going to even be planned until we get the house, so around 30 y/o. That’s assuming our careers go smoothly and we have enough money to raise a child.

Singapore birth rates are low, understandably, perhaps. But the government keeps trying to change that. There are even posters on the MRTs (trains) to try and persuade us to have kids. Woman’s fertility goes down after 30. I’m a girl. If I’m not wrong woman’s fertility is at its prime at 20–24. We are busy getting a degree! And after that, stressed environments don’t encourage us to have babies.

That’s also assuming newer generation couples want kids. I’m turning 16. Most of my friends at my age don’t want kids either. It’s simply too stressful and costly to get one. We have other things to worry about. To put it bluntly, I see it as ruining my body shape and putting myself through torture for a wailing burden to my pockets that may not even care about me when I get older.

I’m not sure if these are the things you are looking for, but yeah. This is purely my opinions and observations, feel free to disagree. Also there were several comments against some races/ nationalities etc. I don’t mean to offend anyone and I apologise if I have upset you in any way.

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hereunder are some comments of others
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7.8k Views ·  · 
In every of any possible bright side of Singapore, you can juxtapose the dark side. Unfortunately, often it takes a foreigner to apprehend that quickly as it is hard for one that’s been brought up and assimilated to the state island to understand what I am going to write. I am a Malaysian currently living in Singapore for close to 4 years.

Like most Malaysians, which makes up a dominant part of the Singapore society today, often we complain about our sister city Singapore when we compare it to the counterparts of KL, Ipoh, Johor, you name it, basically the way Malaysia is. You may have your own answers too, depending where you come from.

There is no doubt that Singapore is fine (many fines around many societal orders too), systematic, clean, predictable, cosmopolitan, highly exposed to international standards and cultures. I would like to highlight, the sterilization of society and the singularity of culture.

It is easy to label a cosmopolitan country like Singapore to be multicultural, or having all the kind of the food of the world in its island. In reality, if you come from another multicultural country, you will find this ambiguity a side effect of the sterilized society. You will know this when you come from other cosmopolitan country that is geographically larger, which somewhat relaxes up a lot of policies and encourage creative thinking.

Singapore, being to the population of more than 5 million today, is relatively poor, or not exciting when it comes to cultural or societal capital. In a highly order society that comes with systems that socially engineered the society choices, it is hard for an individual to breakaway from societal peer pressure in many ways. The Singapore lifestyle is a highly mechanized one where society has label certain streams of education pathways, getting a government flat, getting married, and so on.

However, there are two sides of the coin to this. On one end, it is the very uniformity and excellent government systems that ensured societal order in the pursuit for foreign investment. Take for example, the priority for English as first English in the late 1990s in order to provide competent international standard workforce, or, the streamlining of government flats that form more than 80% of household homes today. These institutions or solutions are engineered for the very significant threat of Singapore, e.g housing issue or foreign investment. But then, it also has caused societies to be very narrow thinking contextually (if one only lives in Singapore since young), it has also limited the society’s capability to be resilient and not dependent on Government’s directive. I can only think that the Singapore story as the best possible story it can get, it’s a red dot miracle among ASEAN countries but at times, its national identity is at crisis when you have huge influx of foreigners. For some, it’s merely a global city that is a transit point rather than a country system to begin with.

13.3k Views · 
In 2017, ~250,000 Singaporeans chose to migrate out of Singapore. WHY? Lets see.

I’m 20 years old, Male true blue Singaporean. Heres my perspective.

I believe theres always two sides of the story.

National Service - Sexist discrimination. You rather have a daughter than a son here. Lag behind in your studies, job disruptions, even death of our soldiers (recent news).
Highly controlled environment. Media outlets, political opinions are suppressed, government - controlled sectors Temasek Holdings, Maritime Port Singapore etc.
Military-political -industry relationship Being in NS, make me realize how “linked” this whole network is. There are military personnels CEOs/Chairmans/Head of politics,hospitals, local companies. It seems theres a certain “advantage” here from being in the force.
Wealth shaming/Rich-middle class divide. Don’t be surprised to see 60,70 and even 80 year olds working as Cleaners, Taxi drivers here. We have one of the highest income gaps in the world! Recently, there was a leaked audio by one of a ministers when asked about lowering ministerial salaries. “ You expect us to only earn 200k/year ? “ This sums it up.
I am looking to emigrate out of Singapore. I love Singapore but this is a country not for me.

2.7k Views · 
Singapore is Not Heaven nor is it Shangri Lai , neither is it Club Met or Disneyland.

It is seductive because someone has a Pretty Face, the inner soul is good.

When comparing to many cities/countries, Singapore has many things in its flavor.

Good Public Transport, Expensive Private Transport ownership.
Good Public Housing, Private Home prices near that of New York/Shanghai.
Good Public safety, Among the highest per-capita execution rate in the world (simpler English, crimes that get jail time in other countries, Singapore just hang the fellow) 
Good Public Health (subjective, voted by many wealthy foreign leaders and expats  ) . As many Quora writers have pointed out, Mental Health is the Hydra that lurks beneath the surface.
Good Educated Workforce, There are people whom succumb to the stresses (in the education and work environment).
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It is human nature, to look at something and forget the rest of the package.

Many took Singapore accomplishments for granted.

Look at the fellow nation, whom started about the same instance as Singapore did compare them (resource-rich nation) with Singapore today.

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Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. Turn around, the shadow looms before you.

666 Views · 
Racial / religious undercurrents, although Singapore has by and large, been more successful than many other countries in creating a tolerant society. Away from the academic discussions, many in the other ethnic group still think the Chinese are never bathe, are rediculously money-faced / Malays are lazy slackers, stupid and unable to do well in math and the sciences (a friend said his mum forbade him from playing with Malay kids beneath the apartment block when he was a child, as she believed all Malays are a bad influence)/ Indians are smelly, cannot be trusted because they are the best twisters of truths (among others). Such thoughts still perpetuate today among one's own ethnicity, which isn't surprising, of course. Every now and then these undercurrents do flare up, such as the curry incident or when a staff member complained about the noise created at Malay weddings. Its a messy mix of heritage, economics and politics but thankfully, most Singaporeans do not take the occasional slip of the tongue too seriously.

Riding on a fellow Quoran's answer about gangs in Singapore, i was fortunate enough to attend a talk by the ‘Gangs unit’ of the Criminal Investigations Department several years ago. Apparently the underworld is still very much alive and these undercover officers (thanks to them risking their lives, we can walk safely on the streets at night) do monitor and intervene with gang activity. It was quite an eye-opener for me, because i would think in this age where people are caught up with technology, getting relatively good living standards, nobody goes hungry in Singapore, who would bother with silly skirmishes over things like “why u stare at me??!! Want to fight issit??”. But yes, fights still do occur and one of the photos shown (undoctored) at the talk was a gang leader who had been stabbed many times and hand sliced neatly off, lying in a drain at a hdb estate.

1k Views · 

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