the power of addiction

Here I am again! I just started my 2nd month of non-smoking (cigarettes). It's more or less my 7th attempt to quit smoking, so if this one won't work, there won't be an 8th one hahaha, this is the final attempt.

Actually, so far so good. I started with NiQuitIn plasters, so that I could break the stupid habit of grabbing a cigarette: the plaster provided me with all the nicotine my body was used to. Even so, my hand regularly went to the place where normally my pack of ciggies was. Unconsciously. How many ciggies have I smoked in the past without realizing I was really smoking them?

After one month plastering, I decided to stop that and go cold turkey, actually against the advice of my consultant. I removed all plasters, drained my body of the nicotine from the plasters, and here I am now, nicotine-free and smoke-free. The detox-process brought me headaches, diarrhea, vomiting, and an undefined craving.

I don't mind all those detox symptoms. Diarrhea is good for losing weight, and so is vomiting. The headaches are not very severe. I just wonder about this undefined craving. It's not that I want to smoke (that would be defined). I just want something but I don't know what. Sure if I would have cigarettes I would light one to see if that was the one I'm craving for. But I don't have ciggies with me now, so I'll have to wait till the craving goes away.

Isn't it actually horrifyingly simple and stupid, how to stop smoking? Just wait till the craving goes away. It always goes away. Just be patient.

My oh my, I've never been more patient in my whole life :-)

Pray for my now-smoke-free-soul :-)